Reader Question: Flying
Dear Readers, because you are all such intelligent people with great advice and things to say, I need some words of wisdom. Someone very close to me is deathly afraid of flying (on airplanes, duh). They used to fly all the time, but in the past few years a fear suddenly struck straight into their heart. I kind of know how this feels because growing up I was not afraid of heights whatsoever, but around the age of 18 I suddenly became terrified of heights, something that makes things like roof parties not so great for me. I don't know how this works, but I suppose there is some part of you that becomes more fearless as you age, and some part of you that gains fear...maybe due to your ignorance about the world/harshness of reality fading? I don't know, but bottom line is that it's a semi-new fear that can't be solved by simply getting drunk before a flight.
So, are any of you afraid of flying? If so, why? If not, why not? I am not a fan of flying because I feel that if something goes wrong, it usually goes REALLY wrong, but I do it because I'm comforted by the low-danger statistics. You have a higher chance of dying in a car crash than a plane crash, I know, I know. But that isn't enough comfort for some people. Or should it be?
So what comforts you? What are you words of advice, and if you too are afraid, what do you do to get yourself on a plane?
I'd appreciate any comments because I tell you a secret: I'm the worst person on the planet when someone asks me for advice. I'm a very good listener but the shoulder to cry on stops there. When asked about this I froze up and thought OH SHIT IM AFRAID TOO WHY DID YOU BRING THIS UP?!
This was the longest question ever.
posted by Kate at
4:52 PM
12 Comments:
my mom told me something that keep me from being scared of flying:
* watch the flight attendants. if they aren't scared, you shouldn't be either. (they are never scared.)
also:
* listen to upbeat music. music really helps clear your head and keep you calm.
* seriously, take a valium. it's SO worth it, say all my friends who have fears of flying.
big kiss!
joannaxo
I'm kind of in a similar position to your friend. I used to love flying, but I've noticed that every time I get on a plane I'm a little more apprehensive and freaked out than the last time. I would suggest:
*picking out really good reading material - something you've been looking forward to.
*definitely keeping music on hand, especially for the take off and landing, which are the worst part for me.
*medication. Seriously, I don't think I would want to get on a plane without some Xanax, and I'm sure the doc would give her a small perscription for something like this.
P.S. Love your blog, but usually just hang out in silence.
I'm the wife of a commercial pilot so I'm so familiar with this topic (without a doubt someone at our dinner parties always needs advice about their next flight!) Anyway, here are some things I've learned from him:
1) Turbulence will NEVER cause a flight to crash. Wind shear (a sudden change in the wind direction upon landing) can. However, every commercial jet has a warning that goes off as soon as it senses any change that might be dangerous. If it goes off the pilots WILL listen to it. They want to be safe just as much as you do.
2) If the flight attendants are relaxed then you have nothing to worry about.
3) Pilots have hours and hours of training. They are tested by the FAA and their companies twice a year. They do simulator emergency training (good simulators that move and are a replica of the whole cockpit just not in a plane). They also have random in flight exams by FAA examiners. This makes sure they are up to par.
4) The pilot has the final say as to if they feel comfortable taking off and landing. They have the final say above air traffic control. Again, they don't want a crash and if they don't feel comfortable with the weather, the maintenance, anything, they will delay the flight.
5) A plane will never just drop out of the sky. Even if engines fail, because of the aeronautics of a plane, a pilot can still land it (albeit bumpy).
6) I asked my husband a theoretical question: if you were in a crash and you knew there was no chance of you landing safely, what would you be thinking about? I was wondering would he be praying, thinking about our family, regrets? His response: I would be fighting until the very last second because even in the most dire situation a pilot can still do a landing. It won't be smooth but if it gets you out alive then he did his job.
I know this is long but I hope it helps put some of your negative thoughts away in a rational way.
Ativan or Xanax
i bring funny stupid movies and TV shows on my laptop and lots of good music on the ipod. and yes - valium/xanex/ambien and a $5 bottle of plane wine helps too.
I've always traveled frequently but have been getting more and more anxious as well... seems like a pattern. I'm leaving for Moscow a week from Saturday and I'm not even excited - I don't want to go! All the regulations and difficulties with flying these days probably are triggering anxiety for anyone who is prone to worry is how I see it.
Anyway, what I say to myself is I'll be damned if I'm letting my irrational fear stop me from experiencing life because it's a slippery slope (today I'm not going to Moscow, tomorrow I'm not leaving my apt - but I'm very prone to these things escalating) besides - it doesn't stop me from getting in my car everyday and like you said - I have a much greater chance of dying in it than in a plane.
So, I suck it up, and distract distract distract. I also take some kind of relaxant when i can but to be honest it only mildly helps me. Most of it is state of mind, in my case at least.
No, don't take a pill. Why? The World Health Organization warns against sedatives when flying because it greatly increases the risk of Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is life-threatening.
Besides, there is far more effective help available. I'm both an airline pilot and a licensed therapist, and I've put together a video that explains all about fear of flying and what to do about it at http://www.fearofflying.com/video_hs.shtml
"5) A plane will never just drop out of the sky. Even if engines fail, because of the aeronautics of a plane, a pilot can still land it (albeit bumpy)." Thanks for that, I like hearing it.
I am actually not afraid of flying but I haven't a bad experience yet.
To help combat my growing fear of flying I:
1) take 1 non-drowsy (or non-drowsy) Dramamine pill 1 hour before flight, and then another one 30 mins prior to flight (I take the "drowsy" Dramamine if the flight is going to be more than 2 hours long -- I have to be knocked out to fly that long. Sad, yes.)
2) I bring interesting reading material.
3) take deep breaths and keep my head looking-straight (not bent over looking downward)when I start getting overly-anxious from turbulence.
I know I'm a flying nut-case, but these things have worked for me... :-)
I definitely fall into the category of an anxious flier, but have been getting better over the past few years, thankfully. To echo many of the readers above - it really helps to distract yourself during the flight - books/magazines/movies/video games, etc. I also remind myself that I am more likely to win the lotto than I am to die in a plane crash, and when my plane is experiencing turbulence, I tell myself that it is normal, just like being in a car. It also helps sometimes for me to look out the window and just to appreciate the fact that I am able to be above the clouds, or to have such amazing views of the landscape below...to try and associate some positive feelings with flying...but I feel your friends pain! It's very hard to convince your body to relax when it doesn't want to...
ativan/muscle relaxers/valium
white russians
ipod
listening to the cock pit talking to control tower on a channel with headphones in the seat
and the best of all, frequent flights and the less time between flying and taking trips makes you less scared because you just get so used to the feeling
Ever since I started knitting on flights, my fear of flying has completely gone away. I think being able to express my anxious energy through my hands is what does it.
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