On Uncertainty

the principles of uncertainty

The internal battle that many of us bloggers face with how much negative personal stuff to share with the world is ongoing for me. I want to keep it real, y’all, but sometimes that means playing the sad trombone and opening myself up for comments that might be a touch on the overreacting side when life is most certainly not that awful. That being said, it’s hard for me in the past week to not mention that the only thing on my mind right now is the fact that Will is getting surgery on Thursday, we’re awaiting test results, he doesn’t have insurance and our moods fluctuate between terrified and feeling lucky that things are not worse. He is most likely going to be just fine, but it’s the impending hospital bills that are currently weighing down our shoulders. I said this on twitter yesterday, but it’s terrifying and sad that if you don’t have health insurance in this country, you have to ruin your life to save your life. A reoccurring thought of “why us?” keeps rolling through my mind, but that’s not fair because life is so incredibly random and throws so many punches, and honestly life was going so damn well there for a while I think I was due for a pair of hands to grab me by the shoulders and shake, shake, shake. We both have had a wake up call on priorities, let me tell you. I can’t speak for Will, but it teaches me lessons – like get health insurance asap even if that means living like a college student again.

the principles of uncertainty

You know who else is teaching me lessons? One of my heroes, Maira Kalman. I picked up her book The Principles Of Uncertainty at Strand in NYC for a cool 50% off and I nearly sobbed my face off on the plane ride home because it’s so wonderful and magical and just a tad sad. I’m not sure why I didn’t buy it sooner, it’s been out for years and years. There are many, many good quotes, but I really love: “Washing dishes is the antidote to uncertainty. I know that for a fact.” Mainly because it’s one of my own tricks to clear my mind and I like to picture Maira and I having a cup of coffee and getting along like old pals. I also love the quote above in the photo. She’s referring to Louise Bourgeois, another one of my heroes.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest and share some Maira goodness with you. If you have any spare room for a crossed finger or two for Will on Thursday, that would mean the world to me. I think he’s excited to get back at me for how long he had to nurse me back to health when I had my wisdom teeth removed…