the sign | biscuit making | water droplet beard | the kitchen, my best friend lately | a peek at new things | lighter hair | pretty LA on a walk

Well, where to start. I know this is bits of my weekend, but I’ll start with last week, when I briefly lost sight of perspective and positivity. The chemo started to finally eat away at Will and there was a low point of panic: “is this how it will always be? I can’t do this”, and since that moment he has not left the apartment. Slowly he’s returning to a state of alertness and moving around the apartment (thanking our lucky stars), but he’s too tired to stand for very long and isn’t supposed to be in bright sunlight, which is laughable in this summery weather we’re having. Yes, it snowed in New York and was 80 degrees that very day here in LA. So this means I juggle a monotonous cycle of getting a lot of work done, cooking every single meal at home, and all these little trips outside the apartment alone. You know how I feel about doing things alone, longtime readers. I realize I should force friends to drag me out of this apartment, but the catch is that I have so much to do. I’m so far behind on jewelry it’s pathetic, and little projects are piling up from my week of not being very productive. So this is a good time to hunker down and kick some ass (cut to me looking very boring on a computer, “kicking ass”), while simultaneously playing nurse. And bleaching my hair? I needed a break from the routine, I guess. I finally got the hang of what I needed this weekend – walking to all my errands, even if they’re not that close. Bring the New Yorker inside of me to the table. Whenever I walk somewhere here I think, “why don’t I do this more often?” as the sunshine on my skin makes me feel new and the silent walk lets me parse my thoughts. Oh and Phish food ice cream, lots of it. Cures anything.

Thursday we’re going to Palm Springs for 24 hours of being holed up somewhere else, at the request of Will, who I believe is getting stir crazy. Eating every meal at home saves you some crazy money, enough to squirrel away one super on sale hotel room through a flash sale site. I’m jazzed.

that’s all folks. have a great weekend.

Wordless, an instrumental music mix

Out Of Egypt, Into The Great Laugh Of Mankind, And I Shake The Dirt From My Sandals As I Run – Sufjan Stevens
I Saw The Bright Shinies – The Octopus Project
The Red Curtain – Mirah/Ginger Takahashi
Gipsy Threat – Ratatat
Allen’s Interlude – Mimi & Richard Fariña
You Wish - Nightmares On Wax
Heart: Release – Neon Indian
Equinox – John Coltrane
Clouds Up – Air
Proven Badlands – yMusic (composed by Annie Clark aka St Vincent) 
Herbie I Love You, Now I Know – Here We Go Magic
The Cascades – Fleet Foxes
Eternal Sunshine Theme – Jon Brion
Green Arrow – Yo La Tengo

A break from being wordless for some soup, because I said so. We’re having slightly lower temperatures, soup is the only thing Will seems to be able to eat lately, and I just got a crazzzy load of veggies from the CSA I just signed up for. I’ve made this soup a lot lately with varying ingredients, as that’s the beauty of it (and most soups), and they’re all amazing. I started with Heidi Swanson’s Big Curry Noodle Pot recipe from Super Natural Cooking and have experimented from there, and this is my final recipe that I usually use now. It’s pretty similar to Heidi’s, just more brothy as we realized that was our favorite part. The broth, oh, the broth. Plus I load mine with way more stuff.

Thai Curry Soup
makes 2-4 servings

The broth:

1/2 of a yellow onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, minced
1 Tbsp oil or butter
3 tsp red curry paste
1/2 can coconut milk
3 1/2 cups vegetable or chicken broth
1 tsp ground turmeric (note: I just use curry powder as it has turmeric in it and dang, spices are expensive and I may as well use this up.)
1/2 tsp ground ginger or fresh minced
1 Tbsp soy sauce
2 tsp brown sugar
juice of 1/2 a lime or whole, taste test how you like it.

The guts of the soup, optional ideas:

Udon or rice noodles – 4 – 6 oz or so (I guess this stuff, guys)
broccoli or broccolini
carrots
spinach
various chards
green onions
peppers
chicken
shrimp
tofu

optional garnishes:
toasted cashews
toasted peanuts
cilantro, chopped
shallots, slivered
red pepper flakes

Let’s get started. Heat oil or butter over medium heat. Add onions and garlic. Cook until onions are translucent and soft, but not brown. If you’re using fresh ginger, add now and cook for a minute. Add curry paste and stir/mash it up until its evenly incorporated and fragrant. Add coconut milk, broth, turmeric, soy sauce and sugar. Stir for a minute and then add your veggies. If you’re using spinach and/or green onions, wait until the other fillings have cooked as they only take a minute or two to cook. Simmer until cooked, then add your protein and noodles, if using. Carefully fold ingredients and cook for a minute or two longer. Add lime juice to taste and red pepper flakes if you want it to be hotter. Dish up and garnish!

Proof of aforementioned crazzzy load of veggies from the CSA I just signed up for. They gave me extra and I was like, whoooa, please stop I won’t eat all of this!

p.s. thank you, friends.

I thought I’d take a break from being wordless today as so many people have asked how Will’s chemo is going and thought it might appear a bit too melancholy sans words. Yesterday he finished up a brutal five-day all-day infusion cycle and is doing pretty well. He’s not himself, that’s for sure, but he’s doing better than I’d pictured he’d be doing. The past week has been a blur of driving between our apartment and the hospital four times a day (that’s 30 minutes each way) so I could bring him there and get him settled, then go home and try to work. Some days were more productive than others. As he grew weaker, it became harder to leave him all day, so this weekend I eased up and stayed with him more, despite my looming workload. You start to mentally prioritize your life and decide what can be postponed (jewelry update, sadly) and what is the most important (being there for Will). But he’s back at home now so I can focus a bit more on work between playing nurse, and we’re both happy to only have to see that hospital twice in the next two weeks. I think I’ve memorized every single street on Beverly Blvd (my preferred route, trust me I’ve tried them all) between Vermont and San Vicente.

But I have to say that while our hearts are heavy at times, when we stare at the calendar and think about how many more cycles are left and silently calculate how much sicker he may get, the infusion rooms in the cancer ward provide immense perspective. And the nurses remind us when they can tell our faces hang low. You are lucky. We saw a toddler on one of the first days and it broke me in two. You see people who look like obvious shells of themselves. But you also see kindness between people like nowhere else, and people who are saying goodbye because they’re done, they’re better now. And in no time flat, that will be us too. Not everyone can say that. Speed bump, just a speed bump.

cheating: have a great weekend, friends.