Real Talk
After much consideration and stomach aches, I’ve decided to put an end to Pinners Be Crazy. It was short lived and I still have tons of submissions that never were published, but I have my reasons. For the most part people gave me positive feedback and it made a lot of people laugh. I love making people laugh so that made me feel awesome. Some people even told me I was doing good work at calling people out for the terrible things they said to strangers on Pinterest, which also made me feel awesome. But slowly (or quickly? the internet distorts my sense of time) people came forward to express their qualms with the site, and slowly I started to agree with them to some degree. Some people were kind enough to email me and have an honest, private discussion about it, and some chose to voice their opinion about the site in the comments on other blogs that I came across. To each his own, either way I became aware of the issues some people had with it and it didn’t sit well with my conscience. The biggest argument that I came to agree with is that I’m being a hypocrite by making fun of people who are making fun of people. Another is that it serves no real purpose and my motivations are fuzzy – is the point to make people laugh, or make a stand against cruelty? In the end I couldn’t answer that completely, so I decided to stand down. Also, it was SO DEPRESSING going through submissions. People are so awful, you guys.
Maybe this is more explanation for a stupid tumblr than seems necessary, but I want to make it clear that I’m not stopping because someone hurt my feelings or that I can’t handle some people disagreeing with me. I don’t take criticism well, I’ve stated that before here, and not everyone needs to agree with me and be into the things I do in life, but it’s much more than that.
I also want to make it clear that I really, truly am sick and tired of the way some people treat each other in the comment sections online and I think that saying it’s just the nature of the beast is a cop-out. When I read vile, disgusting things in the comment section on Pinterest it makes my blood boil. I hope to explore other ways to take a stand against this, so stay tuned.
Thank you for being so awesome, my dear blog readers. And omg, did you know that some people didn’t know that the Titanic was real?? Corgis reenact these tweets. Sorry, I needed to end this heavy post with something lighthearted.
UPDATE: I’m closing the comment section because I just feel that this conversation is over and we don’t need to weigh the pros and cons of the blog anymore, but thank you for all of your input!
April 11th, 2012 at 1:12 pm
I think it’s really admirable of you to be so honest about this subject. I often feel so disheartened by negative comments on pinterest or blogs and have a hard time just letting it go. My approach is just to not get involved but that is sometimes easier said then done. I don’t know what the answer is, but I appreciate your thoughts on it and I think it’s something we should work towards alleviating.
April 11th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
Very thoughtful post, Kate.
April 11th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
I love this post. It’s hard to understand why people think hiding behind a computer is good reason to say hurtful things. The medium doesn’t make it sting any less. Kate, I think you had good intentions. It’s just a tough subject with a lot of opinions involved.
April 11th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I totally agree with you and I’m a believer that if you don’t have something nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all xx
April 11th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
I believe you made the right choice. There is so much negativity on the Internet to be found that it becomes very overwhelming. I’ve found that I’m happiest now that I actively opt out of engaging in it. I almost never read comments on any site anymore.
I think the real issue is not comments on Pinterest but Internet etiquette that is, in general, lacking.
April 11th, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Good for you for having the guts to talk about it so honestly. Some people in life are just not nice and so I guess it’s inevitable they’ll spill out onto the internet. It’s like when people say awful things but their excuse is ‘this is who I am, deal with it’. It’s a cop out, like you said. I don’t know how people have the energy to be mean – if I see something I don’t like, I move on. Life’s too short to be a hater. HA! I said hater.
April 11th, 2012 at 6:21 pm
I think it’s good you expressed your decision openly and honestly. Besides, everyone deserves the chance to change their mind. I liked your tumblr collection for its purpose – similarly, have you ever checked out the awful comments made on youtube videos & pages?
That said – your honesty, thoughfulness, and analytical nature is just another reason why I am, and will continue to be, a fan of your blog.
April 11th, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Honestly, I had a hard time reading Pinners be Crazy. I wanted SO BADLY to laugh at it, and honestly the content was funny and I did laugh, but I rarely finished reading a comment thread before becoming sad and/or angry (often with myself for being complicit in the mockery).
I think sometimes smart women err on the side of snark to avoid sentimentality–at least I do, and it can be an ugly thing to recognize in myself. And it’s okay to be sarcastic, but it’s not always the kindest way to be. In any case, I applaud the way you are handling this and hope that we can all be a little kinder in the blogosphere.
April 11th, 2012 at 6:44 pm
Aww, I’m sorta bummed, because that was some funny stuff. But it was a little depressing, too. Kudos to you for having that kind of imagination and chutzpah, both to create the site and to realize a good time to end it. I hope you find another great creative idea soon (I mean in addition to your blog and your jewelry and your work:-).
April 11th, 2012 at 6:45 pm
I feel you Kate. It is a tricky thing knowing how to approach bringing a discussion about on the web about the horrible ish that ladies say to each other on Pinterest, and really any online forum. It is hard figuring out when you are being productive with your commentary or acknowledgement of the problem or are maybe encouraging the cycle of bad talk. I just posted yesterday on my blog about the shit that goes down on Pinterest. It took me a long time to figure out how to word things right and I still don’t know if I did it well but I tried to use the discussion about Pinterest to start a movement of women making a choice to only be kind on pinterest and all other areas of the web. Give my post a look and let me know what you think. <3 http://www.moorea-seal.com/2012/04/lets-spread-positivity-and-kindness.html
I think your tumblr was hilarious and did focus more on the sillier side of the comments on pinterest. But I can imagine that having to read through the really awful and mean commentary was just emotionally exhausting. I mean, even just the few I posted in the comment on your post that were from my pinterest board were enough to drive me into the most infuriated state I have been in in a loooong long time. They just made me really really sad. It just sucks having to read that crap. And I hope that deciding to end PBC will relive you of any weight that you may have felt reading through the more awful comments on Pinterest.
xo Moorea
April 11th, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Thanks for your honesty Kate. I can understand the criticism about the blog, but, for me overall, I thought it was positive in the sense that it did call people out on bad and unnecessary behaviour. I think there’s so much abuse online that’s simply accepted because ‘everybody does it’. I’ve always had the type of personality of speaking out about things that seem unfair (as you can guess from the posts on my blog!). BUT, I also realise that not everyone wants to be confronted with the negative side of life all the time. That’s fair enough.
It can be tough to know what to do and how to handle raising an unpleasant, but important, issue. I struggle with this on my blog when I post about some serious subjects. I get criticised too, some of it is really harsh, and like you, I’m really sensitive. I do believe that saying something and doing something (however imperfectly) is better than nothing at all. But on those days when the criticism becomes too much for me, I feel like deleting my blog. Yet that other side of my personality – the side that does want to critique things – usually wins out. You have to do what works for you and what seems right to you, so I totally respect your decision.
Thank you for raising the subject in the first place, I really do think it’s an important one, and I’m also sick of the level of hate I see online on comments sections.
xx
April 11th, 2012 at 9:02 pm
I think the best way to combat all the hate on the internet is to do exactly what you’ve already been doing–make sure you have a site that isn’t full of it. Even though you get a few crazy comments, more often than not your blog (and the blogs you link to) are full of people who are members of The Anti-Hate Blogger Gang. You and many others have created spaces that are safe for like-minded and thoughtful people. The rest of the time I just have to make myself avoid looking at the comments on sites I know are full of negativity. Or at least try to avoid them.
All of that to say–I think you made a great decision and maybe if enough people voice their opinions about Pinterest, they’ll start to make changes to how you can edit things or even turn off comments. Let’s hope!
April 11th, 2012 at 9:06 pm
Frankness like yours is so rare and special! I think you’re being brave :)
April 11th, 2012 at 9:16 pm
I admire your honesty!
April 11th, 2012 at 10:40 pm
Kind of funny: there are some borderline psycho comments in the corgis link from die-hard corgi lovers who can’t take a joke. (For the record, I think most of them *are* joking, but there are a few I’m not so sure about . . .)
Crazy comments seriously do make me feel bummed about the human race. It’s a BIG part of why I quit Facebook.
April 12th, 2012 at 5:01 am
Kate, thanks for filling my days with great photos, music, thoughts and so much more. I think Pinners Be Crazy site was an amazing idea, humor is always the way to deal with hate and negativity. It did a lot just the time it was up there, and hopefully more people will take that kind of action that you did.
April 12th, 2012 at 6:20 am
You are taking a stand through your honesty in this post. Thank you.
April 12th, 2012 at 7:57 am
While I understand your reasons, I am sad to see the site go. I really enjoyed the site and found it not only funny but fascinating. Not because of the comments themselves but more the emotional intensity and heightened sense of indignation that whipped people up into a frenzy over an image. It’s always interesting to see how images affect people and how many different interpretations there can be of a sleeping baby or a girl’s outfit. And I think people sometimes forget that much of the internet is a public space and comments left represent who they are in a permanent record.
But it isn’t good to be surrounded by so much negativity all the time so you’re better off emotionally not being around it. Thanks for the great blog!
April 12th, 2012 at 8:28 am
To keep my own sanity, in this big mostly thrilling land of the internet I try hard to spend my energy & focus on the good, the nice, the encouraging, the happy, the inspiring – there is so much badness & meanness in the world – it’s just not where I choose to put my energy.
Love your blog, your photos, your style, your jewellery, your cat, your food photos, your “bit’s of my weekend”, your etc ….
April 12th, 2012 at 9:47 am
i think this is a very respectable decision. i think my main qualm with the site was that it didn’t seem to opening a discussion about these very complex issues. discussion is productive, but “calling people out” (as another commenter above described it) really is not. i think we’ve learned this from the bravo housewives.
but kudos for trying to start something positive and productive. i think that poor internet etiquette is really a minor byproduct of much larger contemporary issues, though. people behave badly and are rude online because they behave badly and are rude in real life. people are racist, sexist, willfully ignorant, undereducated, close-minded, self-entitled, and the list goes on forever. people are in many ways responsible for their own education, but people are also byproducts of where they live, their generation, their family, their religion, etc. and all these things shape their opinions. people often can’t help it. so how do we help them help it? (while still respecting their right to have differing opinions)
i work in public higher education — these thoughts trouble me on an hourly basis.
April 12th, 2012 at 9:55 am
Hey lady. I think taking down the blog was a good idea, although I love the idea. I just found your blog and ADORE it btw. I also have myself steered clear of pinterest lately because I am realizing so many people with non-internet etiquette are involved and have no idea how to behave! they need some self censorship. xx
April 12th, 2012 at 11:27 am
Keep up the good work. Stay strong.
April 12th, 2012 at 11:51 am
The whole pinterest experience is becoming so dispiriting. I (naively?) thought pinterest boards were personal expressions of what an individual finds interesting. Negative comments should have no place on that site. The general level of on-line politeness seems to be plummeting and the increasing ill-will between (mostly) other women I find, frankly, depressing. I salute your brave attempt to draw attention to the issues with pinterest but I’m sure your stomach will thank you.
April 12th, 2012 at 3:11 pm
Yeah, getting a stomachache over something is not a good sign.
A friend once sent me an URL to a website where people would post about things that made them mad and at first it was fun. I posted a few times when I was really angry about something and it was fun reading the other people’s posts. But you know what? After a while it just got depressing. And I got tired of people assuming that just because someone did something wrong/disagreed with them/etc. that meant they were worthless human beings. I’m certainly as sarcastic and critical as the next person but I’m not going to appoint myself as the official rain on everybody’s parade. Who needs that?
If you (or any of your readers) think of some non-stomachache inducing way to help diffuse this kind of talk, please share! :-D
April 12th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
great job. I agree with you on many points regarding negativity on pinterest.
it takes guts to do what you did, I’m prud of you.
I bet it feels good to have this weight off your shoulders.
Big sigh.
April 12th, 2012 at 9:31 pm
aaaargh.
PROUD.
April 13th, 2012 at 5:50 am
Aww I enjoy Pinners Be Crazy! But I do have to say it is mighty draining to read the discussions on Pinterest. I really wish there wasn’t a commenting function because the amount of sheer ridiculousness is mind-boggling. It’s becoming less and less enjoyable and more sifting through the stupidity.
April 13th, 2012 at 9:01 am
found PBC through design mom, and it was funny but also so so so sad! I feel so discouraged at the incredible rudeness on pinterest. Why?! Why do people feel like the internet is an acceptable venue for being a total jerk?!
Were you on pinterest at the beginning when you had to wait a month for an invite, and every single thing on there was beautiful and inspiring? I wish it could go back to that.
I think you did a great job on your site of calling out the dopey trolls on there. High five.
April 13th, 2012 at 9:12 am
This is the first time that I have come across your site. I LOVE YOUR MISSION. I have come to loathe comment sections, from pinterest, to youtube, to local newssites. People can be despicable. And it breaks my apparently fragile heart. I refuse to start a facebook account, which kills me, I want to stay in touch with friends, I just don’t think I can take people being so awful. I wish all the haters would all just get together and let the rest of us be. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for being a voice for goodness. The world needs more like you. And possibly less like me, I am kind of a sissy. And if you ask me, they deserve a taste of their own medicine. Anyway, thanks.
Rachel Reply:
April 15th, 2012 at 9:32 pm
Hi Martha – I love to stay in touch with family and friends via Facebook – but hate the comments and “writing on your wall”. There are ways of setting up FB and not allowing those options. Just letting you know – if it is really impt to you to have an acct, and that is why you are staing away. I don’t allow anyone to “write on my wall” because if they have a personal msg for me, then I want it through a private, personal e-mail. AND – if anyone is awful – you can defriend them. :-)
April 13th, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Interesting. I hadn’t realized that your tumblr was supposed to be funny. I thought it was a fascinating way to observe the nature of how much interest is changing as it gains popularity. In the beginning it wasn’t really a social space, more a collection of shared personal interests, but comments weren’t really important. Now that they are monetizing it and it is gaining popularity it is interesting to see how the social elements have shifted the purpose of it (for the worse in my opinion). As soon as Facebook buys it I’ll be packing up my boards and closing my account. Until then I find it and reactions to it such as your short-lived but really (I thought) intelligently timed critique of it extremely fascinating.
Ell Reply:
April 13th, 2012 at 12:05 pm
* pinterest obvs (stupid autocorrect)
April 14th, 2012 at 8:38 am
Great post, Kate. You articulated your reasons for shutting this down really well (not that you should have to defend yourself, obviously). I tend to avoid most comment sections like the plague, and I don’t even understand why Pinterest allows them.
April 14th, 2012 at 8:14 pm
The internet provides a perfect opportunity for passive-aggressive arses to make unpleasant attempts to feel powerful in their probably pretty powerless lives… and it’s frustrating… but I always console myself by remembering that nobody acts like a prick because their life is fulfilling and happy. They’re getting theirs.
April 15th, 2012 at 9:27 pm
OK – I found the Pinners be Crazy site though Design Mom blog following. I cannot believe (well, I guesss I can) that people put so much energy into Pinterest comments.
I am certainly glad that I never used Comic Sans in any of my business writing, for fear that someone is making fun of me right now…. :-)
I must admit – the little kid in the car had me laughing for at least 5 min. I have a 2 year old with that same car and I bet that is exactly what he would have been thinking if he was launched into the air like that!!!
Thanks for the laugh. And get the site shutdown. Some things are fun, but meant to be short lived.