That one
When I was a kid and we’d find ourselves driving around a particularly nice neighborhood, my mom and I would pick out which house we’d like to live in. That one with the roses, that one with the bay window, that one with the wide porch. We lived in what a kind fifth grade classmate told me was “the white trash neighborhood” that a developer whose vision was clearly muddled named “Lakewood Estates” – in a small, plain, brown house on a cul-de-sac with other plain, earth colored houses that didn’t evoke a single that one out of any of us. There was a lot of constant thought about how different things would be once we got off that street and straight into our dreams. I carry that notion with me to every apartment I move into. “This is great, but it doesn’t have xyz, so the next place will need to have that.” The next place, the next place, the next place. That one, that one, that one. Should I stay or should I go? A constant topic of discussion in my brain and out of my mouth because the grass is always greener.
Photo by Kate Miss, taken on an Ikon Ikoflex with Fujifilm Pro 400h
April 23rd, 2012 at 10:52 am
I know I am stressed out when I start to imagine our dreamhouse -or a real house I have spottet- it is totally my escape to dream about my future home(s)!
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Kate Reply:
April 23rd, 2012 at 10:54 am
so true, it always makes me feel like it would solve a lot of problems in my life, which is irrational thinking at its best!
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April 23rd, 2012 at 11:04 am
I was once asked when I was a kid (by a fellow classmate) why I was so ‘poor’ because we didn’t have one of the big houses up on the hill. I never really understood what he meant by that remark as I thought what we had was fine. Modest, but fine. My parents kept their financial woes well hidden from us kids, apparently. We moved around so much that I’ve never really had a ‘home’ so I completely empathise with thoughts of ‘next time’ – next time I move it’ll be for good, or next time I move I’ll make it my real ‘home’. I’m nearly 31 and I still crave that feeling of a true home. I guess it’s a feeling a lot of us have so you’re not alone… but wouldn’t it be great to truly feel 100% happy with what we have instead of always having that feeling hidden deep down in the stomach, provoking those itchy feet?
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April 23rd, 2012 at 11:20 am
I sooo understand this. My parents had to start from scratch when they got married, & when I came along two years later they were still getting it together. Our home was modest at best, but not a big deal because we were still well off among our circle. When I was sixteen we moved into our dream home. I do love everything about it. But now four years later it’s starting to lose that ‘new house feel’. Things are getting older, things are decaying a little, I’m getting lazy with cleaning & a little uninspired as well.
I love the window & plants in that photo. I pine for houseplants but we travel for a few weeks at a time & they would die.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 11:38 am
We just moved to a house after living in a tiny studio apartment. I love our new place, but I can’t help but think of our future home that will (hopefully!) belong to me.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 11:50 am
I grew up in one of those modest beige stucco postwar houses in southern California. I don’t often think about ‘that one’ because I know it’s probably insurmountably out of our reach. We have a lovely enough condo in Cambridge that is a money pit (equity and otherwise), but no matter how I try to imagine it remodeled, it just isn’t ‘that one.’ I do wish I could feel at home but no matter where I live, it feels temporary.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 11:53 am
it took moving out of a house that always ‘needed this thing or another’ done to it to realize it was my dream house.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 12:00 pm
All the neighborhoods in MV have names like that, trying to trick you that you’re in a nicer place, right? (I shouldn’t say that, though. My dad is a home developer and all their neighborhoods have silly names like that. My favorite is “Palisades” in Marysville. Come on!)
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April 23rd, 2012 at 12:14 pm
what a great post. I guess it’s the feeling of ‘starting everything anew’ that makes us fantasize about moving to different apartments/houses. on the other hand, I like moving, I’ve changed 10 places in 22 years. I’ve been living in the same apartment for 2 years now and already feel the urge to pack my bags again. and I can totally relate to ‘that one’ syndrome – when I have time I sniff around websites with places for rent and imagine myself in my different lives all the time.
would love to live in ‘that one’ from the picture. seems lovely.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 1:46 pm
I, just recently, moved into my dream loft in downtown Denver. Did it take me and my boy 10 months to find it? You betchya. But it was totally worth the wait after five years of settling for apartments that only met half of our requirements. It’s a nice feeling when you finally land in that place that naturally feels like home. Despite the fact it’s owned by giant property management company.
Beautiful photo, by the way.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I get the itch to move often, and it’s usually because the next place will (should) somehow have all the things that the current apartment seems to be missing. The real problem, though, is that I have a hard time turning my mind to an apartment full of stuff to see what should go away to make the place I want appear in the spaces (and I do feel like it could).
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April 23rd, 2012 at 3:01 pm
I find myself doing that more and more lately. I’m so intrigued by the way people create a home for themselves and it helps me to understand what I would like and need in my future home. While it is important to appreciate what you have, I do think it’s fun to dream up new environments and imagine what life might look like on the inside.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 3:15 pm
I think the writing in this post is lovely. That’s a game I play too. Places with patios and big trees tend to get an extra emphatic “that one.” Right now my parents are scouting an apartment for me a few provinces away and I’m already thinking about the gems I might accidentally pass up by making a moving decision too soon.
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April 23rd, 2012 at 3:36 pm
what a beautiful shot! love it!
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April 23rd, 2012 at 4:07 pm
I so understand that feeling…
Also, I absolutely love this picture, it’s beautiful and it looks like a pretty nice home..!
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April 23rd, 2012 at 5:08 pm
I’m currently writing my thesis on such a topic actually – yearning for a “home,” or a “THIS one.” I found a book called “Some Place Like Home: Using Design Psychology to Create Ideal Places,” by Toby Israel. It’s actually a pretty interesting read with some exercises to help clear the fog for why and how you like a place to call “home.”
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April 23rd, 2012 at 7:43 pm
my parents are buying a house for the first time in their lives. it’s a strange feeling that they are establishing a “real” home after all their kids are grown.
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April 24th, 2012 at 1:42 am
Great post and a great picture, too!
Yes, the grass is always greener :) But I think it depends on the difference between striving and envy. And I think it’s good to strive and have wishes and aims (even if they are material) – because in my opinion it sounds somehow too final for me, when you could one day sit down and be content …
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April 24th, 2012 at 4:17 am
Since my teen years i carry with me a nostalgia,a restless feeling of ‘not belonging’ even tough i grew up in the same house since i was born,a great house my dad build up and i had a happy childhood – but daydreaming of my own house was one of my favorite hobbies.
I grew up and started to spend a lot of time in my friends house,craving for independence,then in my boyfriend house and finally moved in with him…it´s not a perfect house but i learned to love it and to make it my own,altough this is a much more complex idea that it seems like,especially when you have to share your space and ideas with another person,even if you love that person so much.
I still dream of having a little house for myself,somewhere else and for my never ending crave for furniture and changing decoration i now own a guest house that is a perfect way to try and see ‘what if’ i had all that space and less stuff and how well people feel welcome in my idea of home.
Love the quietness mood in your picture :)
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April 24th, 2012 at 6:01 am
Stunning image. I love a big window to look out of and at the same time to allow lots of light in.
Love from South Africa
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April 24th, 2012 at 6:16 am
Beautiful honest post.
When I was young I loved looking in the window of real estate agents and choosing which house I’d buy. Reading the commdnts it Sounds like the meaning of home/the aspiration of home is more widely experienced than I thought!
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April 24th, 2012 at 7:05 am
I just came across your blog, wish I had known about it earlier. You have some amazing photography and recipes. I definitely need to try our your choc chip cookie one! xx
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April 24th, 2012 at 8:01 am
I know that feeling well. Unfortunately, it’s not limited to houses, but furniture purchases or clothing. That one, will be the one to change everything. Sigh.
That is such a beautiful photograph.
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Kate Reply:
April 24th, 2012 at 8:07 am
Such a great point, Erica, I feel the same! I think what I was trying to say, though didn’t totally come across, was that there isn’t “the one” and I always want something else.
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April 24th, 2012 at 9:02 am
there was a house on the walk to my high school best friend’s place that i swore i’d buy, if i ever won the lottery/became a rock star/realized other unrealistic dreams. it was perfect! older, large, ivy growing all over the place, built when people knew what elements went with what… the point being, i now realize how naive i was, thinking that the building itself would satisfy my hunger for the perfect ‘home’. it really is such a bizarre dream to think you can have perfection! no matter what you do, and what you have, your brain is always looking for the greener side of the pasture.
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April 24th, 2012 at 10:36 am
amen.
i find it so hard to live in the present because i am always thinking, dreaming, planning and stressing for the future.
sometimes it’s exhausting and i wonder when i will have that ahhhhh moment of being content and home.
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April 25th, 2012 at 7:58 am
What a lovely photo. A house is only a house.It is you and those you love that make it a home. Hugs!
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April 28th, 2012 at 10:13 am
I grew up in the same type of way and still feel the same. I have a bad habit of over-appreciating lots of other apartments around the neighborhood except ours. It’s a difficult thing to brush off but I’ve been really trying lately to simply appreciate where I live. Now I picks things out about our place and say outloud (about our little balcony) “I love that we finally have an outdoor space!”
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May 2nd, 2012 at 3:03 pm
I still play this game with my husband! We don’t own yet – we rent – and I love going on long walks and pointing out “that one!” Sometimes we even stop and look at the ones that are for sale. Our other favorite game to play (particularly now, because we are TERRIBLY fond of the house we are renting and our neighbours) is, “what would we do first to fix this place up if we bought it?” =)
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