Random Talk/Real Talk/Music Talk

I can’t tell you how many blog posts I’ve started lately and then either deleted or abandoned. Wednesday I wrote a long five paragraph post about feeling like my wedding was a burden on my family and how I’m constantly reminded by them what an inconvenience it is, but by the time I wrote the last sentence I realized how ridiculous I was being, a solution to my problems, and felt 1,000 times better. Delete. Thanks for the therapy session, WordPress. Since then things have been coming up roses, so you were spared a whine session. Too blessed to be stressed! Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose! (actually going to make a sign with that for me to look at before I walk down the aisle. Truth.)

Random things:

1. I started running. I haven’t really talked about this online because I am such a phase person, but I’ve stuck with it for over a month at least three times a week, so now I think I can say that I run. I also mostly stopped eating dessert, and eating most gluten. (I’m into occasional cheat days because YOLO.) I lost all the weight I gained moving to LA (car culture, hey-oh!) and have muscles I didn’t even know were …hiding in my body? I have to give most of the credit to my friend Katie who inspired me to start (and gives me lots of tips), and this app she uses called Runkeeper that helps me because I’m really motivated by goals and rewards (Gen Y, hey-oh!) I ran for a bit in NYC, but I ran with Will then, and I’ve discovered I really like running alone so I can zen out and listen to music. I don’t feel like a new person except noticing a physical difference in my body, but I think it just helps me not completely fall apart from stress and is a distraction. I imagine that I might be less tired and and feel more clear headed from all of this if I weren’t 6 weeks away from my wedding right now. Maybe I’m too much of a skeptic for diet and exercise to change my life, or maybe I was already a pretty healthy person? Either way I like running a lot, and the act of getting up at 6:30 three times a week and doing it, that alone is huge for me. I want to do it every weekday once my muscles are ready for that. I also really enjoy rubbing it in the faces of people who said I wouldn’t stick with it. Ahem.

2. I’m being a little quieter online because it’s a bit much for me right now. Except whenever I’m feeling particularly barfy-panicked about the wedding, then I pop over to A Practical Wedding and hope there will be a post that talks me down off my ledge. The openness and honestly is so flipping refreshing amongst a sea of Pinterest boards and “Wes Anderson Fairy Wonderland Ice Princess Desert Goddess Wedding Inspiration” photo shoots that make me suddenly contemplate forking over $300 for mismatching vintage floral napkins because, ew, white ones are suddenly the worst thing about my wedding and what if I regret that detail FOREVER OMG. But on the other end of the spectrum, the internet-prevalent judgmental attitude and holier-than-thou criticism towards peoples choices for what they spent their money on for the wedding, or constant “ugh, why would you want a wedding like that?” comments are equally as awful. What I’m saying is that being on the internet lately is really bad for me, but I’m not quietly, secretly losing my mind. That much. Emotional stress is so much harder to deal with than to-do lists. I own to-do lists. Own.

3. You should watch this Lisa Frank video.

4. I’ve been really into listening to the first Brandy album again. I know, it’s ridiculous.

5. In non 90s’ music related news, two new albums you should listen to:

Washed Out, Paracosm – love the album art so much.

Superhumanoids, Exhibitionists (“So Strange” is my favorite song but I couldn’t find it on youtube, wah wah)

Have a great weekend everyone!

film photo from our last trip to AZ