Where It Stands

I took a little unexpected hiatus from this space and it felt rather nice to not think about it, or at least it felt sort of nice to attempt to not think about it. After my last post about June, which I’ve subsequently deleted, some criticism that really bummed me out arose from what I hope and know deep down was a place of helpfulness, but with unsolicited dog advice literally pouring into my ears and eyes more than I can handle, it caused me to crumple and need to walk away for a bit. I don’t really care to talk about her progress or lack of progress in detail here and instagram too much going forward as I’ve realized it’s too personal and I have enough going on right now without helpful people accidentally being really unhelpful and hurtful. I love commiserating and sharing with other dog owners, but it’s a world that I’ve come to learn is incredibly sensitive and protective – I honestly cannot imagine how people are about human babies! So if you were enjoying reading about my progress with her, I apologize I’m going to be pretty quiet about it, but it’s what I need for my sanity.

Now, onto other things. I know it seems like I’m neglecting my former life before my new job, and it has really felt like that. It’s been three months now (where does the time go?) and I still haven’t figured out how to balance things well. My jewelry has been terribly neglected, I have these new wax pieces to refine and cast but they just sit waiting for a good solid three hours of attention. But! I have two really exciting collaborations I’m working on right now (aka killing myself on) that I’ll get to share soon – one soon, the other in a couple months. Everything will get done, I just need to learn to accept less lounging time and more productivity time – I feel like my natural state is lazy, but I’m not happy in that state ever. Sometimes my brain and body don’t communicate well. Anyway, all of this is fine because work is great. I won’t say it’s been easy – and I feel slightly hesitant to say that because I know some of my coworkers read my blog, but I try to be somewhat honest here, so. It’s been a switch from long days coding and designing websites and logos to now designing products and designs for fabric and paper that I have never done, or haven’t done since my days working at Dwell Studio so long ago. It’s been challenging, and I suffered from impostor syndrome up until really pretty recently. But I’m finally finishing up some things to their final state here and to see that I’m not the failure the voices in my head whisper so often is, well, relieving. I’m being pushed here, and I know I’ve read one too many inspirational posters on Pinterest that say you have to be uncomfortable to rise above and do great things, so I just keep pushing through the uncomfortableness and doubt to a place of greatness. Everyone here is so meticulous and doesn’t settle for anything less than really effing awesome, and while I’d be lying if that didn’t say that made me exhausted everyone once in a while, it means a better me, and us. It’s funny because Will has been pushing me to be more in that state of mind for a long time because that’s how he operates (I wish he could have a more creative job as there’s so much greatness untapped in him) and I never realized how right he was until hearing it from someone else – it probably helps that it’s coming from someone who pays me. HA! I’m turning 31 in a month and am discovering lately I am not entitled to relaxing as much as I wish if I want to make professional progress.

So, all of this to say, I’m quieter online but it’s a time of growing and transition still. I’m learning so much right now and it means neglecting things now and then, but I know I’ll return to certain things again eventually. Like this blog. I have so many songs to put in a mix right now! That will come soon. “Soon” – word of the season for me.