I’m trying to finish a roll of film so that I have some wordless posts to schedule while we’re in Phoenix for Christmas, a glorious seven day trip I’m so looking forward to. So, I don’t have much digital this morning to share. But it was a great weekend – kicked off on Friday with an epic walk with Lisa to discover some secret stairs in Silverlake that blew our minds. Then Saturday Will and I got up early, got breakfast take out and drove to Griffith park while we stared at the beautiful view and ate French toast and bacon. We wandered around a little and it felt pretty fantastic to be outside with Will again. Sunday we were complete and total bums, with a little bead making here and there (my hands hate me). We’re easing back into normal life, slowly.

I have to admit that this past week was one of our roughest. But with the help of care packages (more on that later) and seriously taking it easy this weekend, we got through it. I even at one time felt bored on Sunday. Bored! I forgot what that was like.

Here’s one super awesome not boring thing that happened. Lisa is my new neighbor and I couldn’t have been happier to put on a dress and a pair of heels and have a delicious meal with her (and slightly ridiculous holiday themed cocktails) at Mohawk Bend and check out an awesome new store, Myrtle, in Echo Park. Myrtle is pretty much stocked with products made by every awesome lady friend I know on the internet and it was so cool seeing that stuff in person. I tend to maroon myself on the island that is my apartment lately and I was reminded of how good it feels to have some girl time. I can’t wait for Will to be well enough to be around friends again because he is probably so sick of me right now he never wants to see a cute baby on instagram shoved in his face again (that doesn’t cheer everyone up??).

Let’s do this shiz, week 9, aka THE END, we’re taking you down. They don’t have a bell you get to ring at Cedar’s when you finish treatment (I’ve read about other places having this) but Will says he’s glad they don’t as that would make him feel crappy to see other people ringing the bell if you had a long ways to go. Instead I wish they had a punching bag with the words “cancer” on it that you could beat the absolute hell out of at the end. Maybe something you could safely blow up?? Just some angsty week-fuled ideas I’m throwing out there, guys. I just want to throw scalding hot coffee into cancer’s face, is basically what I’m saying. No big deal!

I will start by telling you briefly that the weekend consisted of nothing too terribly interesting between all the hospital back and forth driving besides the above that was worth photographing, so it’s misleading to call this Bits Of My Weekend when this is really Bits Of My Epic Walk, or Urban Hike, which is most fitting for what I did. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been really into walking lately. I just take a peep at Google Maps and pick a place to walk to, double check to make sure I’m not getting myself into any insane hills that might destroy me or streets with no sidewalks that may kill me (this is LA, afterall), and put my sneakers (yes, I own some) and headphones (my new key ingredient) on and hit the road. But I haven’t been able to go for a walk in almost a week because long infusion weeks are nuts and there is no time for a walk unless I want to get nothing else done. Well, not taking on any more projects lately has paid off in the sanity department (the bank account department is another story…) and Sunday I finally had time for a walk. But since it had been a while I was getting bored of my usual northern route, I decided to take on a much longer walk than usual. I decided I would pick a destination to reward myself with, which I decided would be Trader Joe’s because snacks were calling my name. When I looked at the map, I found a cool way I could walk through the Franklin Hills that didn’t require much of a hill at all, but what looked like an amazing little bridge (Shakespeare Bridge). When I finally made it to the bridge and up and over to Trader Joe’s, I was hungry for more awesomeness and surprisingly not snacks, so I turned around (also Sunday at TJ’s sounded so unappealing after a peaceful walk where I barely saw another human being). I double checked the map on my phone and decided to hike. Literally. I climbed this massive hill on a winding street in the Franklin Hills and when I got to the top I could see the Griffith Observatory and all of Los Feliz and beyond. I kept going and came across one of those secret staircases I always hear about from LA walking legend (ok, my LA walking legend) Alissa.  I didn’t go down it but the view of downtown from above it was pretty spectacular. Now I really want to buy the Secret Stairs book. And speaking of spectacular, the houses up there only get more amazing the higher you go and the quieter the street, but I decided against being a stalker and taking photos. I finally started winding down the other side of the hill, saw the little baby Jesus, and then right when I was back to my boring neighborhood was rewarded with a hummingbird.

I am so ridiculously sore even my arms hurt (why??), but it was pretty amazing. After I picked Will up I felt a little guilty telling him about how amazing it was, but he said he couldn’t wait for me to go again and take him with me when he was better. And I will. Here’s my route if you’re interested. It looks wacky due to my turning around. I edited my address to conceal my secret lair, of course. I actually live farther into the beautiful, trash-free, polite and quiet neighborhood of East Hollywood, thankyouverymuch.

In other news, I am hoping that there will be a shop update tomorrow evening that I unfortunately have to announce a bit last minute. Our apartment building hasn’t received mail in three (!) days for some reason (Santa Ana winds damage?) and I was supposed to get some important supplies for jewelry. So, fingers crossed, it comes today and we can make this happen. Stay tuned!

Holy cow, did you read this whole post? Well if you’re still here I would like you all to join me in high-fiving Will for completing his last long infusion on Sunday. Just two more short visits in the next two weeks. The home mothereffing stretch.

plant table | cardamom meringue pumpkin pie | Heath | finding Fall | mandarin season | a little gift | work desk | glowing cheer

Things that happened: over eight miles of Los Feliz covered by foot – seeking out Fall and a little quiet in my head, some little plant tables were constructed to keep me busy and productive, brunch at Little Dom’s with pals (the day after Thanksgiving, what were we thinking??), jewelry was made, turkey leftovers and pie were eaten (that pie is the only Thanksgiving evidence I have), Christmas lights were strung for cheer, mandarins were eaten by the pound.

Today is Will’s 30th birthday. I’m grateful that he’s in between cycles so he’s practically feeling normal today, and an old friend from Brooklyn is in town and coming for dinner, which will make things feel more special. Could a 30th birthday be more monumental and a little shaking than having cancer? He’s taking it like a champ though, and we are so thrilled that Wednesday he starts his last cycle, his last bad week and then two easy ones. A strangely good birthday present. I’m about to order him a ridiculous brunch from our favorite neighborhood spot and eat omelets in bed. Top notch.

fancy nails | helper cat | tea for a cold day | rainy day

Things finally have slowed down a bit as I wrap up design projects and I can breathe. I slept in til eight thirty (whoa) both days, and only worked a little bit on Saturday, taking the world’s longest walk around Los Feliz, trying to walk on streets I’ve never stepped foot nor car on before while picking out which adorable bungalows I want to live in. I only took my film camera with me, but trust me, it happened, and it was glorious until my feet reminded me that I’m not a New Yorker anymore and I never walk like that these days. I’m trying to embrace doing things alone, savor the silence and seek out quiet places in LA, which is hard sometimes in our neighborhood. I’m trying not to hold it against this side of LA lately that I associate it with Will being sick now and find things that make me happy here, but it’s difficult sometimes. After this, will I ever be able to drive along Beverly Blvd without feeling like I’m driving to the hospital? Will I associated walks around Los Feliz with the fact that I walked alone because I had to, not because I wanted to? I’ve always had terrible grass is greener syndrome when it comes to where I live, and this is not helping. When crazy people cut us off while I’m trying to drive my nauseated guy somewhere or a crazed neighbor is laying on their horn outside our window while Will is trying to sleep I can’t help but wish we lived so far away from a busy city right now. So I try hard to not focus on those silly things and remember what my grandpa recently told me about cities and why he’s stayed where he is for so long even though he daydreams, “There is no Utopia, home is what you make of it.” So we make tea and watch the rain (and feel grateful that rain means quieter neighbors) and enjoy our little slice of peace inside these walls in the middle of a sometimes chaotic land.

ps. totally unrelated, but there are still some things left in the shop

dyeing yarn | couscous soup | easy cookies | picnicking with Henry | gratuitous belly shot

Will wrapped up another five-day infusion cycle this weekend, and I have to admit that between that and everything on my plate, I feel as though I’m on the brink of burning out. I haven’t had a day off in weeks, and my to-do list goes nowhere – there are not enough hours in the day. When Jamie and her lovely family came through town and asked if I wanted to have a picnic with them, my first instinct was that I didn’t have enough time, but I realized how much I needed an hour or two of just sitting in the sun doing nothing more than having good conversation and watching a cute baby be fascinated by grass and plastic cups. I took a step back to make cookies and dye yarn and try to have a few moments that vaguely resembled a traditional “weekend”, ha. I decided that I won’t take on any new projects til the new year, just wrap things up on my plate now and focus on jewelry and taking care of Will, whose energy is up and down. I’m not the fantastic project juggler I used to be, it’s impossible when your mind is so full. And that’s perfectly ok. Saying no is totally ok.

I also have to take a moment to express some gratitude for the amazing friends and family who have sent us care packages lately and weekly emails to check in or just share a funny story or video (my dad could start his own tumblr of cat videos now). We are so ridiculously lucky to have people like you in our lives. You keep our spirits high. Just five weeks left, we can do this.

A well-balanced weekend of grueling work to finish a never-ending project and leaving both days for something fun. Lunch at Umami with some fellow LA bloggers with Warby Parker while they were in town launching their line at Confederacy (I’m not normally an event with strangers kind of girl, but WP is hands-down one of my favorite brands), and craft night with some old coworkers. I also drank way too much coffee, bought a much needed space heater (It dropped to 45 degrees and there’s no heat in this poorly insulated apartment!), and the day finally came to shave Will’s head. He’s been so healthy this past week I nearly forgot about the situation at hand. A life as normal kind of week.

the sign | biscuit making | water droplet beard | the kitchen, my best friend lately | a peek at new things | lighter hair | pretty LA on a walk

Well, where to start. I know this is bits of my weekend, but I’ll start with last week, when I briefly lost sight of perspective and positivity. The chemo started to finally eat away at Will and there was a low point of panic: “is this how it will always be? I can’t do this”, and since that moment he has not left the apartment. Slowly he’s returning to a state of alertness and moving around the apartment (thanking our lucky stars), but he’s too tired to stand for very long and isn’t supposed to be in bright sunlight, which is laughable in this summery weather we’re having. Yes, it snowed in New York and was 80 degrees that very day here in LA. So this means I juggle a monotonous cycle of getting a lot of work done, cooking every single meal at home, and all these little trips outside the apartment alone. You know how I feel about doing things alone, longtime readers. I realize I should force friends to drag me out of this apartment, but the catch is that I have so much to do. I’m so far behind on jewelry it’s pathetic, and little projects are piling up from my week of not being very productive. So this is a good time to hunker down and kick some ass (cut to me looking very boring on a computer, “kicking ass”), while simultaneously playing nurse. And bleaching my hair? I needed a break from the routine, I guess. I finally got the hang of what I needed this weekend – walking to all my errands, even if they’re not that close. Bring the New Yorker inside of me to the table. Whenever I walk somewhere here I think, “why don’t I do this more often?” as the sunshine on my skin makes me feel new and the silent walk lets me parse my thoughts. Oh and Phish food ice cream, lots of it. Cures anything.

Thursday we’re going to Palm Springs for 24 hours of being holed up somewhere else, at the request of Will, who I believe is getting stir crazy. Eating every meal at home saves you some crazy money, enough to squirrel away one super on sale hotel room through a flash sale site. I’m jazzed.

I thought I’d take a break from being wordless today as so many people have asked how Will’s chemo is going and thought it might appear a bit too melancholy sans words. Yesterday he finished up a brutal five-day all-day infusion cycle and is doing pretty well. He’s not himself, that’s for sure, but he’s doing better than I’d pictured he’d be doing. The past week has been a blur of driving between our apartment and the hospital four times a day (that’s 30 minutes each way) so I could bring him there and get him settled, then go home and try to work. Some days were more productive than others. As he grew weaker, it became harder to leave him all day, so this weekend I eased up and stayed with him more, despite my looming workload. You start to mentally prioritize your life and decide what can be postponed (jewelry update, sadly) and what is the most important (being there for Will). But he’s back at home now so I can focus a bit more on work between playing nurse, and we’re both happy to only have to see that hospital twice in the next two weeks. I think I’ve memorized every single street on Beverly Blvd (my preferred route, trust me I’ve tried them all) between Vermont and San Vicente.

But I have to say that while our hearts are heavy at times, when we stare at the calendar and think about how many more cycles are left and silently calculate how much sicker he may get, the infusion rooms in the cancer ward provide immense perspective. And the nurses remind us when they can tell our faces hang low. You are lucky. We saw a toddler on one of the first days and it broke me in two. You see people who look like obvious shells of themselves. But you also see kindness between people like nowhere else, and people who are saying goodbye because they’re done, they’re better now. And in no time flat, that will be us too. Not everyone can say that. Speed bump, just a speed bump.

thriving plants | dining | jazzed up kitchen nook | new plant hangout area | Scoops | garage sale drawings | a clear view

First and foremost, good news came our way Friday afternoon: Will was approved for Medi-Cal! It didn’t come without frustration as we found out his caseworker sat on the paperwork for a week that we overnighted to her and she forgot about, so we both wanted to hug her and throw her down a flight of stairs (kidding! sort of!), but the important thing is YAY! Then there was some epic fundraiser printing and shipping, a gathering of friends for the first time in our apartment that involved delicious drinks and the most massive Sunday hangover I’ve had in ages, a walk to Scoops for said hangover (disappointing, Pazzo Gelato is still my fave), and some plant re-potting (I think I’m more of a plant lady than a cat lady lately). A great weekend indeed.